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broken..
Monday, January 24, 2005

weekend passes as it usual way, soon, another week of ups and downs.. feeling emo right at this vv moment..was it one of the ways for me to b broken down to really reach out fer God? sudden surge of a spiritual dryness in my entire heart, mind and strength. different moods come in and go of my body. desire to be wanted by God grew significant. hoping for a hand to hold me up, lifting up my eyes to someone i could really look upon. all i have within me..i wished to let go..masks of myself have peeled away slowly..to a certain extent of pain and humility to take.
had it been different if i were to experience tsunami? different if i had been an afghan kid? to call myself blessed was of so much value. realised how much faith i had each time i pricked my conscience after reflectin on the sermons i had listened. i was in a critical mood with God. i needed him so much. yet, i relied on myself i needed him.
a week of freedom. a week of rest. a week of seeking. a week of goin back to Him. i did not started properly. failed a test frm God right on monday. to stand up once again to my own weaknesses, i realised ish not jus bein alone to face it. cried out. broke out. sang out. tears of brokenesss bein sung to Him. a refreshing ending to what i have started. believe. thank God fer a tuesday where he will always be there.